kennedi

" you'll let me down, the team down, and most of all yourself down"  Thats what my coach told me. If i dont pass geometry then I cant go to Saisa football. No pressure right? Like all those hours of tutoring arent paying off. No matter how i try, I always end up looking like a retard. I dont like my relationship problems. I think im afraid to have one. Because i want it to be perfect. And even though I know that stuff just happens in fairytales, i keep thinking, maybe i'll get the perfect guy. And yes i like the guy who likes me back. But if i say yes. I'll just screw things up like I always do. The worst thing is, I dont have my best friends around to give me advice right then and there. Sure theres skype. But I miss going to her house, and just walking outside and talking it out. I cant handle myself and sometimes my best friends know me more than i Know myself. Thats pretty pathetic but its the truth. I love my school. I love my friends I have there and sure I laugh lots during the day... But i want more fun. I want more extrem. And i want more everything. And that package only comes with my best friends. I want to talk to somebody who knows my past and can finish off my sentences when I get stuck. Right now, it feels like Im home every night doing my homework, while my friends on the other side of the world are having more fun. I dont mean it in a bad way. Theres nothing more i want than for them to be happy and having fun. But it just sometimes hurts too know i cant be there with them. Im missing out on making new memories. I dont complain much.. But right now, Im kinda wishing that I was in a different place.